Thank You

The right only makes the left look bad
The left only makes the right look bad
So to hell with the right and to hell with the left
I'm already in enough personal stress
The right only makes the left look bad
The left only makes the right look bad
So to hell with the left and to hell with the right
I hate having to constantly hear about the fights
I know I'm not asking for much
When I say that we need peace and love
You all make me sick to my stomach
Oh my God, now you've really done it
Do you really know how dumb you sound?
Listen back to the words coming out of your mouth
CHRIS PLANTE: "And then they call it '
Fux News conspiracy theories'. It's on camera! There's no question that he got the job, is there? Allie? Allie? Stefie? Chunk? Any of you clowns? Really, I mean, you pretend to be- I'm like 50 times the journalist they are, and I'm- and I left the business years ago. But my standards are much higher than theirs, much much higher!"
The left only smear campaigns the right
The right only smear campaigns the left
So to hell with the right and to hell with the left
I'm already in enough personal stress
The right only smear campaigns the left
The left only smear campaigns the right
So to hell with the left and to hell with the right
I'm so fucking tired of hearing all the fights!
You all make me sick to my stomach
Oh my God, now you've really done it
Do you know how much I want to die?
Don't poison me with all of your lies!
CHRIS PLANTE: "Uh, and speaking of, uh, lying... Bernie Sanders had a heart attack. He's 78 years old, he's a socialist, he vacationed and honeymooned in the Soviet Union; uh, his adoring wife bankrupted that college for the first time in American history, I think. Uh, they have three homes, and - this my... friend Marty... I think it was Marty... was it Marty? I think it was Marty - staying over the weekend. Now the only question is, in which of his three residences will the socialist Bernie Sanders be convalescing from his heart attack? And God bless him, I hope he lives to be 120 - uh, he's gonna continue to be wrong about everything all day long - but I don't wish him any harm. I just wish they'd wake up and... you know, smell the 20th century."
(Charles, I need you to put the canopy up, we gotta go right now.)
Dad, I feel weak
(I don't care, put the canopy up, we're leaving and your sister and stepmom can't do it themselves.)
Dad, you're sexist
(Fine, gimme that.)
Dad, what are you doing?
(Nyeh!)
DAD, YOU THREW MY PHONE! YOU ASSHOLE!
(Not so weak now, are ya?)
To harass
To humiliate
To belittle
To intimidate
I'm your dog
Tell me what to do
Tell me to put my hands behind my back
And I'll submit to you
OFFICER, I'
LL DO WHAT YOU SAY
I'
LL PAY ANY FEES OR FINES I HAVE TO PAY
AND THEN WHEN THAT DUMB SHIT IS ALL DONE
YOU'
LL THROW ME ON THE GROUND, AND TASE ME JUST FOR FUN
SO BEAT ME UP, BEAT ME UP
I'
M YOUR CIVILIAN BITCH
SO SHOOT ME UP, SHOOT ME UP
THROW ME IN A DITCH
P O L I
C E B R
U T A L
I T Y
CHRIS PLANTE: "It's like Damien Thorn, you know the movie, The Omen. I always made this comparison during Obama too. Obama's like Damien Thorn, all the Democrats are like Damien Thorn, it's the empire of Satan, and..."
Got a 30 pack in a plastic sack
A 30 pack in a plastic sack
Got a 30 pack in a plastic sack
A 30 pack in a plastic sack

You all make me sick to my stomach
Oh my God, now you've really done it
Do you know why I want to kill myself
Go smear campaign against somebody else!
CHRIS PLANTE: "Because the setup put Manafort to the exclusion of all the Democrats in Ukraine. I guess they were planting their flag. You know, like Neil Armstrong on the moon. Sorry, that was Sheila Jackson Lee, thought that Neil Armstrong planted the flag on Mars... Mars... Mars... Period! Period, period!"
"You're listening to the Chris Plante Show."