Mecca

The Principia Discordia

You hold in your hands one the Great Books of our century
fnord.
Some Great Books are recognized at once with a fusilade of critical huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear almost furtively and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY DICK or Mendel's great essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our space-time continuum almost as unobtrusively as a cat-burglar creeping over a windowsill.

In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of this wonderful book. In 1970, hundreds of people coast to coast were talking about it and asking the identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the Younger. Rumors swept across the continent, from New York to Los Angeles, from Seattle to St. Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts, one heard. No, said another legend -- the PRINCIPIA was actually the work of the Sufi Order. A third, very intriguing myth held that Malaclypse was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon, who had allegedly composed the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity. I enjoyed each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I was also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had actually written the whole thing myself during an acid trip.

The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew slowly. By the mid-1970's, thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and Australia, were talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original was out of print by then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate here and there.

When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in 1975, my co-author, Bob Shea, and I both received hundreds of letters from people intrigued by the quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we had decorated the heads of several chapters. Many, who had already heard of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies, asked if Shea and I had written it, or if we had copies available. Others wrote to ask if it were real, or just something we had invented the way H.P. Lovecraft invented the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our moods, sometimes telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful lies and myths we could devise fnord.

Why not? We felt that this book was a true Classic (literatus immortalis) and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet discovered it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage the mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people wrote to ask me if Timothy Leary had written it, and I almost always told them he had, except on Fridays when I am more whimsical, in which case I told them it had been transmitted by a canine intelligence -- vast, cool, and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star, Sirius.

Now, at last, the truth can be told.

Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a time-travelling anthropologist from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among us as a computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named Gregory Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan erotic poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was the mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the Great Seal of the United States.

I have it on good authority that he is one of the most accomplished time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth many times in the past, using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias, Emperor Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc. Whenever I question him about this, he grows very evasive and attempts to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th Century Earthman and that all my ideas about his extra- terrrestrial and extratemporal origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily deceived. After all, a time-travelling anthropologist would say just that, so that he could observe us without his presense causing cultureshock.

I understand that he has consented to write an Afterward to this edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but don't believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan put-on, the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the branches of guerilla ontology.

For full benefit to the Head, this book should be read in conjunction with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press, Albuquerque, NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden Benares (And/Or Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on many levels here", as Ken Kesey used to say.

In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Things go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord?
-Robert Anton Wilson,
International Arms and Hashish Inc.,
Darra Bazar, Kohat

A jug of wine,
A leg of lamb
And thou!
Beside me,
Whistling in
the darkness.
Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...
- The Book of Uterus 1;5

Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP.

GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what?
MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.

GP: Maybe you are just crazy.
M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.

GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.

GP: How can that be?
M2: I don't know man, I didn't do it.
GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?
M2: To dissolve them.
GP: Will you develop that point?

M2: No.

GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three pounds of flax."
GP: Is that the answer to my question?
M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

SUSPENDED ANNIHILATION

Principia Discordia
or
How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her
When I found Her

being a Beginning Introduction to
The Erisian Mysterees

Which is Most Interesting

-><-
as Divinely Revealed to
My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
and HIGH PRIEST of
THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)

HAIL ERIS! ->:

Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.

St. Trinian's
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE
Sewing Circle

THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY

by Lord Omar
VERSE
Mine brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;
It is hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now
Gathered in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;
Her Apple Corps is strong!

CHORUS
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand (and gory) Old Discordja!
Her Apple Corps is strong!

VERSE
She was not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*
So She threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek!
O it cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;
Her Apple Corps is strong!

* "Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the Greeks "Ol' Limb' Peak."

If a quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...?

"The tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses"
-Gen. Geo. A. Custer

People in a Position to Know, Inc.
ON PRAYER

Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words:
No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.

"Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but not ill"
(Werewolf Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)

14. Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what is Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind Everything, as you hurry along the Path.
THE PURPLE SAGE

HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19

Heaven is down. Hell is up.

This is proven by the fact
that the planets and stars
are orderly in their
movements, IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS

while down on earth The meaning of this is unknown
we come close to the
primal chaos.
There are four other
proofs,
but I forget them.

-Josh the Dill
King Kong Kabal

IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE
TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.

The Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks.

DO NOT CIRCULATE!

What We Know About ERIS (not much)

The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity--She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom. Actually, most women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.
Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship. And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.

One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."

Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.

*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris. If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland"

DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS
-Horace

THE INSIDE STORY!

The Law of Fives

The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus.
POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria.

The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.

The Law of Fives is never wrong.

In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look."

Please do not use this
document as toilet tissue

The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun
shines by day because, being a woman, it
is afraid to venture out at night.
"You will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly too."
- John Kenneth Galbraith

THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD

It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.*
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.

Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.

Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.

Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.

As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.

And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.

Do you believe that?

* This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB
** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metallic gold or acapulco.

*** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives.

+-----------+
| Remember: |
| KING |
| KONG |
| Died for |
| your Sins |
+-----------+

Ho Chi Zen
is
King Cong

5. An Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As We Know It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges in Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced Unbalance, or Unbalanced Balance.
6. An Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature, in which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced Balance, or Stagnation, is attained.

7. An Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of Transition back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which the Age passeth, finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.

HBT; The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3

Do You Remember? 1. Polite children will always remember that a church is the of .

An Erisian Hymn

by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB
Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS
Onwards Christian Soldiers,
Onwards Buddhist Priests.
Onward, Fruits of Islam,
Fight till you're deceased.
Fight your little battles.
Join in thickest fray;
For the Greater Glory,
of Dis-cord-i-a.
Yah, yah, yah,
Yah, yah, yah, yah.
Blfffffffffffft!

Mr. Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose, has been exposed. It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's brother who has been doing all this nose swallowing.

Heute Die Welt
Morgens das Sonnensystem!

Abbey of the Barbarous Relic
Official Proclamation

POEE DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX

V) The House of Apostle of ERIS For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia
A. The Five Apostles of ERIS
B. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC)
C. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society

D. POEE Cabal Priests
E. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like Personages
IV) The House of the Rising Podge for the Disciples of Discordia
A. Office of My High Reverence, The Polyfather
B. Council of POEE Priests
C. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD
D. Eristic Avatars
E. Aneristic Avatars
III) The House of the Rising Hodge For the Bureaucracy
A. The Bureau of Erisian Archives
B. The Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and The Division of Dogmas
C. The Bureau of Symbols, Emblems, Certificates and Such
D. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The Administry for The Unenlightened Eristic Horde
E. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the Administry for the Orders of Discordia
II) The House of the Rising Collapse For the Encouragement of Liberation of Freedom, and/or the Discouragement of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton
A. The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity
B. The Breeze of Integrity and/or The Wind of Arrogance
C. The Breeze of Beauty and/or The Wind of Outrages
D. The Breeze of Love and/or The Wind of Bombast
E. The Breeze of Laughter and/or The Wind of Bullshit
I) The Out House For what is left over
A. Miscellaneous Avatars
B. The Fifth Column
C. POEE =POPES= everywhere
D. Drawer "O" for OUT OF FILE
E. Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths

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