Isn’t She Lovely

It is a truth often forgotten that The End is very rarely the end.
Tyrants may fall and galaxies may burn and life goes on. But, as Alice is about to discover, sometimes there are places that fall through the cracks. 

[Alice, spoken
]
Come in, Comsat Cheshire, please respond. This is Scout Captain Alice Liddell
requesting confirmation, over. 

[Comscat Cheshire, spoken
]
Hello! Fantastic to meet you, Alice! What can I do for you?

I’m picking up the signal of an old RABIT beacon
circling your planet?

Correct. I have refused it landing and broadcast permissions as its contents have been deemed detrimental to the war effort. 

What? But it’s the ceasefire declaration. The war is over. 

Which I’m sure you’ll agree is very detrimental to King Cole’s war effort!

It’s been sixty years! Who’s in charge of your protocols?

All sufficiently ranking Crown officers are dead. 

Override code 473
-GR1N
-

Code refused. You have been deemed detrimental to the war effort. Needle drones DE and DM
have been dispatched to assist you. Have a great day!

Now it would take a lot more than being shot down to put an end to someone like Alice. Climbing from the wreckage, she saw something she had only ever read about in storybooks: a rebel encampment. Screams and gunfire drifted faintly on the breeze as she moved down the hill, past the corpses in hand-me-down uniforms, and into the base, where a young general stared at her with hazy, unfocused eyes. 

Are you in command here?
I’ve been forced to land near your base

[Caterpillar, sung
]
Well then relax, don’t be so tense...

The war that was raging
Is now only waged in this place

I’m sorry, you’re not making sense

Since the drones brought me down
Both the rebel and crown tried to shoot me

Of course they did, that’s what they’re for

Whoever is leading you
Needs to be freed of that duty

I’m general, like my father before

War is all there is, Rookie. Killing and dying. 
You want to escape? Just take a hit of this.
 

This world is a wonderland
Once you can understand death

There must be someone here still sane

Drink from this tincture
And think about your final breath

Not broken by the death and pain

'
Drink me' and '
Eat me'
Are orders so sweetly obeyed

Are there Crown bases still in range?

Just open your mind
To the colours you’ll find if you stay

The air in here makes me feel strange...

You want to find the Red Queen, just head north a day. But if you want to leave, you’ll have to drink this... Now take a deep breath open your eyes...

When Alice finally came back to herself, she was absolutely covered in blood. Luckily, none of it was hers, and she shook her head, trying to get rid of the feeling that she was somehow, forty feet tall.
Nearby, she saw soldiers in all manner and colours of uniform, but to her surprise, instead of gunfire, Alice heard the clink of teacups. 

What's going on? Shouldn't you be fighting?

[Hatter, spoken
]
Oh, we are fighting. We're just having a ceasefire. 

Who are you fighting?

Oh, come with me I'll introduce you!

[Hare
]
Hello!

We fight for our lieges-

Oh, after you!

No after you!

I insist!

We fight for our lieges with loyalty unmatched
That's not changed (We're consistent they say!)
We shan't be deserters turn our backs on what we know
That's insane (It's entirely deranged!)

So which of you is fighting for King Cole?

Oh, it's certainly not me. 

It's not me. Man's a monster!

I thought you were his colonel!

Pretty sure I'm a major!

Raise your cups! (Raise your cups!)
To this sordid affair
For today we drink (Tomorrow we fight!)

Raise your cups! (Raise your cups!)
Majors Hatter (And Hare!)
As we’re on the brink just not tonight

Our entrenchment entrenched til more orders emerge
(While war’s borders diverge), here we stay

So while we're on the bench, bring more tea concierge!
(Ooh some lapsing souchong!) or Earl grey

Forget the tea, you're fighting tomorrow?!

Well actually, I think you'll find, that if today's tomorrow is tomorrow, then surely tomorrow's tomorrow is today. No, no, wait a minute-

Raise your cups! (Raise your cups!)
To this sordid affair
For today we drink (Tomorrow we fight!)

Raise your cups! (Raise your cups!)
Majors Hatter (And Hare!)
As we’re on the brink just not tonight

They say keep your friends close (And your enemies closer)
It's a tried and tested strategy that's work for us so far

So with war plans in pieces (And peace talks disbarred)
We’re on the brink just not tonight!

*nonsensical singing*

Oh she's leaving! Funny one isn't she?

Probably an enemy spy. 

Almost definitely. 

Hatter?

Yes Hare?

Have you noticed there's a dormouse in the teapot?

I think it's always been there. 

Alice had had just about enough of this nonsense, and left the majors or colonels or whatever they were behind as she headed north. The general had said that’s where the Crown forces were to be found, and it seemed they were the last hope Alice had of talking to someone sensible. But after three days of travel through burned out cities and fields of barbed wire, she was just about at the end of her tether. But just as she was about to collapse in complete despair, she saw something on the horizon. Alice couldn’t believe her eyes. Even sixty years later, everyone knew what a Rose Red looked like
, but as they got close, she realised they weren’t really Rose Reds, but just their skin, stretched over shuddering robot bodies
. Behind them, they dragged a platform, upon which stood a real Rose Red, perhaps the last on the planet. Her uniform was stained black with old blood, and she dragged behind her a human, dressed as a Lieutenant. He didn’t look very happy at all. 

[Queen of Hearts, sung
]
We will find them
We bind them
We will chop of their heads heads heads

We'll replace them with the face of lots of lovely rose reds reds reds

[Queen of Hearts/(Alice?)
x2]
We will find them
We bind them (We will find them)
We will chop of their heads heads heads (We bind them)
We'll replace them with the face of lots of lovely rose reds reds reds (We will chop of their heads heads heads)
(We'll replace them with the face of lots of lovely rose reds reds reds)

Queen of Hearts presiding! I call to the stand, the prosecution: The Queen of Hearts!

As I was a-marching
My troops to the fray
The craven Knave of Hearts
Came retreating my way

He was quickly followed after
And brought back with speed
He was handcuffed and guarded
And brought before me
Court Marshall, Court Marshal
Then swiftly was declared
And the sentence passed upon him off with head

My queen have mercy on him
In your sad cruelty
I know the queen’s duty
Lies heavy upon thee
My Queen, the war is over
Since decades long gone

No! Until my last bullet
My troops will be strong

Then set him free from his irons
And let him go free
For he’ll make a good soldier
For his queen and country

Off with his head!

What happens to Alice after that, no one really knows. Some say she was rescued, others that she lost her own head, and some say she’s on that strange planet to this day. All we know for sure, is if you’re ever in that sector of space, you can turn your receiver to pick up a very odd message indeed. 

Come in- all friendly military forces- this is Scout Captain Alice Liddel, requesting- reinforcements!- What?- Lots of reinforcements!- There’s a lot of fighting down here- so you need to send more soldiers! Send lots more soldiers. I need them. I need them for the war.