The Kids (Unreleased Demo)

Hey there, little boys and girls

Hey there, little boys and girls (Mmkay?)

Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels

But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob

(Huh?) Say hi Bob! ("Hi, Bob!")

Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom

And he don't got a job

'
Cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot

But his twelve-year-old brother looks up to him an awful lot

And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot

And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock

When it's late and the lot gets dark

And fake like he walks his dog, drag 'em in the woods

And go straight to the chopping blocks

And even if they escaped and they got the cops

The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge

'
Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job

When she felt someone grab her whole face

And said not to talk

But Stacey knew it was Bob and said: "Knock it off!"

But Bob wouldn't knock it off

'
Cause he's crazy and off his rocker

Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka

You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor

He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her

(AAH!) And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her

But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander

They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner

And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana

And what it might do to you

So see if the squirrels want any—it's bad for you






The kids, the kids!

Don't forget about the kids, the kids!

Shady, what about the kids, the kids?

(?) The kids, the kids!

Shady, what about the kids, the kids?

You gotta save the kids!






My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?

Fuck no, you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Hehehehe!)

Speakin' of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?

Ecstasy, it's the worst drug in the world

If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it

Kids, two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid

And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back

So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back

Meet Zach, twenty-one years old

After hangin' out with some friends

At a frat party, he gets bold

And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys (C'mon!)

And the peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it

Suddenly, he starts to convulse

And his pulse goes into hyperdrive

And his eyes roll back in his skull {​​​*blblblblblb*}​​​

His back starts to look like the Mc
Donald's Arches

He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal, barfin' {​​​*BLEH*}​​​

And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him

"H- hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"

'
Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny

So they're laughing at basically nothing

Except maybe wasting the money

Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over

And his back and his shoulders

Hunched up like he's practicin' yoga (*gasp*)

And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac

So don't even feed that to squirrels, class

'
Cause it's bad for you






The kids, the kids!

Shady, what about the kids-

Don't forget about the kids, the kids!






And last but not least, one of the most humungous

Problems among young people today is fungus

It grows from cow manure

They pick it out, wipe it off, bag it up

And you put it- put it- put it- put it- put it-